Nettle soup

Day 1 and the nettle soup for lunch has been prepared,!

Got up early and had my 2 slices of toast with basic peanut butter - which gave me the energy to cycle to school with my grandson - I had forgotten how hilly the route was over the fields to Bedmond, but it was a lovely sunny morning and we got to school in time.
Two cups of hot water later, tummy is starting to rumble - think it is time I started heating up my nettle soup and prepared pasta & mixed veg for lunch.

The soup was good - I added  a tablespoon of cooked lentils so it had something to chew on, the mixed veg tomato and pasta was filling but a little bland - should have expended the other half a stock cube on it I think! Total spend on lunch < 20p
Have just packed half a peanut butter sandwich to sustain me, am cycling down to Watford hospital for a visit, then picking grandson up after school choir, so am thinking that I might just hit an energy gap around 4pm!

Far more aware of food, its importance and also how fortunate I am to be able to CHOOSE to live on £1 a day - so many have thisday in day out without any choice at all.......

Shopping below the line

Shopping below the line.

So I decided to go for the Live below the line challenge, and now there is only 3 days to go, and I can't back out as people have been amazingly generous!

My shopping is now complete and my frozen veg and basic sliced loaf are in the freezer. What can you buy for £5 for 5 days and is it going to be a balanced diet?

Well probably not, but there's no changing it now - my fiver is all gone.....

 basics rice                             =   40p
Basic spaghetti                         =   19p
Basic wholemeal loaf              =   50p
sweet potato                          =   32p      (that's the filling carbs sorted)
500g brown lentils                 = 1.00
tin kidney beans                    =     27p
basic peanut butter                =     62p   (that's the protein & fibre)
1Kg frozen veg                      =     75p
4 carrots                               =     36p
1 banana                               =     11p
basic passata                         =     29  (that's the fruit & veg then)
basic veg stock cubes           =     15p
3 small chillies (loose)            =      6p (to make things more bearable)

Total =  aaagh £5.02 - rats I'll have to ditch a chili !!!!

Actually the chillies are an interesting aside - our local supermarkets sell them by the pack (too dear at 50p) and I knew I didn't need that many, as you can freeze them and slice them straight from the freezer. So I asked my lovely husband to buy some from an Indian shop - who charged him the princely sum of 6p - this was before I bought the carrots etc. He then had some time to kill went into the local hostelry for a coffee and on return from the bar found the little black bag of chillies missing! He said it looked like a jewellery bag so some thief is going to be disappointed. We then had to replace them - and stopped at a different Indian corner shop who refused point blank to take any money for them as they didn't register on the scales.

I will let you know what I cook, and whether the extra chili would have made a difference

https://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/gillhulme

Faith and the babel fish

Sorry everyone the scheduled Agnostics Anonomous at the Swan pub on Tuesday 24th April will have to be cancellled -I'm sorry this is short notice - I had hoped that we would look this month at the general topic of faith and doubt,

ie are some people more pre-desposed to faith than others, what do we mean by certainty and doubt - can we ever 'prove' God exists etc

However falls, illness, hospital operations, work shifts and holidays (for some lucky ones!) has meant that it appears we would be very low on numbers, and I can't guarentee to be there as I am having to take each day at a time with regard to pain relief and a trapped nerve.

But I'm sure that Dave at theSwan would be more than welcome you for an informal pint! (and Tuesday is curry night too!)

But for now a few random rambelings....

Faith is a strange thing - I wonder whether some people are more pre-dispossed to belief than others? Atheists might say that some are just more gullible, but there are a variety of things that we can't individually prove, but we do believe exist. For example I don't have the scientific knowledge to be able to follow the logic on sub atomic particles and the work on the so called God particle (Higgs Boson but for those of you with more scientific knowledge there is an easy to read explanation at  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higgs_boson) but I believe what I am being told by the scientists who have devoted their lives to studying these things.

If we were able to 'prove' God existed - would God then 'dissapear in a puff of logic' as described in the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (when the likelihood of the babel-fish being purely natural selection 'proved the existence of God) - in other words does God need faith to exist? 

We have labelled one of Jesus' followers as the doubter - Thomas is reported to have said 'unless I place my hands in his side then I can't believe' but we are told by other Gospel accounts that he was really only asking for the same amount of 'proof' that his friends had recieved. My husband reckons that Thomas should be the patron saint of lawyers!

So is the opposite of faith doubt - or is it certainty? 

Personally I am worried by those who are absolutely certain in their beliefs - whether that is in the infallibility of the Bible, or that God absolutely does not exist, because for me that leaves no room for exploration, journeying and discovery. The history of science is littered with failed theories, which can now be disproven. Some would say that now we have greater knowledge at our disposal we have no need of ancient myths and stories relating to the Divine.

Others (like myself) would want to say - yes there needs to be an initial step of faith - putting ourselves beyond our comfort zone and then after this there is often a personal experience which speaks to the depth of our humanity - to our souls if you want to put it into religious language. Christians would want to say that the divine spark we believe is within each one of us is most fully realised through the teaching of Jesus and trying to follow that way of love.

What do you think - I'd very much like to know

Cutting the rope

We got to the crux of the film Touching the Void last night. Joe was hanging on the end of the rope with a broken leg and no way to communicate with Simon who was gradually being pulled down the mountainside.  Eventually Simon would have been flipped over the cliff and down a 300 foot drop to his death. So he cut the rope, and Joe fell instead. (not as it happens to his death but into a huge cravass).
The question we pondered was : would I have cut the rope? cut the ties that bind us, in trust and friendship, would we have looked after ourselves, or been pulled down the mountain? My indecision / false optimism would probably have killed me. Others felt that in Simon's shoes at the age of 21 they might well have cut the rope. Reflectiving afterwards in the book Simon said that 'it was a split second decision - it simply felt the right thing to do' I wonder - do we follow our intuition on similiar things, despite what the consequences might be?
I'm struggling at the moment with a difficult decision, do I follow my instincts? do I prevaricate - or do I cut the rope ? Is there a sense that sometimes cutting free of ties can be, not selfish, but rather the best thing to do to look after oneself, in order to continue to look after others?
The other major thing that struck right into my heart last night was the total sense of despair and lonliness that Joe felt in the crevass. I have watched that part of the film 4 times now and it gets harder each time I see it.
The lostness (is there such a word?) the complete hopelessness came over to me in waves from the film, and reminds me of desperate times in the pit of depression about 15 years ago. I remember feeling that even God had cut the rope on me, my faith , previously a lifeline, disappeared from view.
Thankfully for me, light, healing and strength dawned gradually through a combination of counselling, medication, prayers and exercise, and I hope that I can continue to look after myself, and never go there again.

I would want to end this post with a prayer and a plea. The prayer  is to hold those who are in the depths of despair in the light of God's love, that they may have good friends to lessen the loneliness and help them climb up towards the light, and that they might get the help they need.
The  plea is this, if you know someone who is in this situation, don't give up on them, because sometimes it can take a long while to find the path through the despair, and there are organisations like MIND who can help, but friends who believe in you are worth their weight in gold.

Cost of discipleship

We have at Abbots Churches Together a bi-annual series of Lent lectures, and this year the theme is the Cost of Discipleship, with a different speaker from each of the four denominations in the village each week. We had a really thought provocking lecture last week on denying oneself and taking up the cross, looking at martyrs through the ages and what we need to take up to follow Christ.
This week was very different. Father Jim ( an elderly RC priest from Chorleywood) gave us the benefit of his wisdom. It was if a lifetime's discernment and spirituality had been distilled into 45 minutes, and interspersed with a storyteller's humour and wonderful turns of phrases. He spoke at some cost to himself - as it was quite obvious he was ill and struggling to talk at times. Fr Jim talked about prayer in such an approachable way, about 'being' in God's presence, and how the generosity of the love of God enables us invite God in as a guest. He talked of 'unzipping' the glory which is within each one of us, veiled in flesh, the godhead within each one of us, and especially present in those at the fringes and at the margins of society.
Being for Fr Jim definatley came before doing, he said that we need both Martha and Mary, but for him the essence of prayer is not what we do, but who we are, as we have each been spoken in to being by God, and each of us is an individual, an orginal masterpiece made by God!
He suggested that as prayer we should sit and listen to our name being called by God, God who is hoplessly in love with each one of us. It was a truly touching talk, and reminded me of the strength that I get from 'being' in the presence of God, and the importance of making time for this. Whether that is alone in the peace and quiet of a church, or with others as in the Contemplative Fire gatherings, which I personally find, let me 'be' in all my body mind and spirit in God's love.
We have another Contemplative Fire gathering this Sunday evening at St Mary's church Wendover, for more information see the Contemplative fire web site
Thank you Father Jim, prayers for your health and recovery.

Descents and Ascents - week 1

Exploring the Void - Descents and Ascents.
The Lent course is now well under way, and I promised I would post the 'Descents' section for people to ponder before Thursday, so here goes.
The first session was about companions for our journey, what has helped and hindered our spiritual journey and what we might need to leave behind in order to travel light. This for me, ties in with yesterday's reading where Jesus said Take up your cross and follow me'. What I wonder do we need to put down, in order that we might take up our cross?
Are we needing to put down old hurts, too much busy-ness or low self esteem in order that we might take up the work that God requires us to do?

There is an element of risk - a step into the unknown like the climbers made . Following Jesus is NOT playing it safe! indeed the book quotes from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to make this point, when the children met Mr & Mrs Beaver in the land of Narnia and they tell them about Aslan:
'Aslan is a lion - the Lion, the great Lion' 'Ooh! ' said Susan 'I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion'
'That you will dearie, and no mistake' said Mrs Beaver 'If there is anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most  or else just silly.'
'Then he isn't safe/ ' said Lucy.
'Safe?' said Mr Beaver 'Don't you hear what Mrs beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Course he isn't safe, but he's good!'

For each of us the challenge when following Jesus will be different - it may not feel safe - but it will be good!
I hope God's love for us will be wild and freeing as we journey together during this time of Lent.

This week on Thursday we will be looking at plateaux and summits, the level paths and the mountain top experiences of our journeys. Do hope to see you there, either at Croxley in the morning or Berry Lane in the evening - meanwhile you might like to recall the mountain top experiences both of Jesus and of others in the Hebrew scriptures.

Happy travelling!

Exploring the Void -preview

The lent course that is running at Croxley Green Methodist Church (10.30am on Thursdays) and Berry Lane Methodist Church (8pm on Thursdays) is based around the film Touching the Void. You don't need to have seen the film to come along, as week by week we will be showing clips (and reading excepts from the related book).
I am hoping that those who come along, might use this blog as a forum to post views and ideas week by week. We'll see how it goes. Week One is Travelling Companions, and each week has a theme to ponder on Ascents and Descents.
Meanwhile a little preview from the course booklet 'Exploring the Void' by Nicholas and Judith Calver:
This course is about helping us to see that our journey is also Jesus' journey and that his journey is also ours. It follows a film about a real-life journey that two climbers - Simon Yates and Joe Simpson - made, accompanied by Richard Hawking, someone they bumped into on the way. Their journey, although its outward focus was on the ascent - and descent of Peru's Siula Grande, was also for each of them an inward journey tht challenged and changed them in a number of ways. 
As a follower of this course you too are embarking on a journey. Though your outward journey may never involve climbing a Peruvian mountain, your inner journey may, at times in your life, follow a similiar path to that of those three climbers. Your fellow travellers will be not only your fellow course participants but alos all those with whom you come into contact outside these sessions as you go about your daily routine, and maybe from your past as well.
Above all, what matters is not getting to the end but how you get there. Remember that this course is a journey, not a destination.

Happy Travelling!'